Monday, August 20, 2012

To all the people who say 12 year old girls don't know what love is

Let's start with something here about 12 year old infatuations. I see it all of the time, try to google "can a 12 year old girl be in love or know what love is". It pisses me off to the inth degree. 2 year old babies know what love is. They know when mom kisses and hugs them they are loved. As we age we experience love in our parents relationship, in our gal pals, or other people on the street expressing love. 12 year old girls get periods now. That means they are emotional and eager to find out what sex and love is. When someone tells a child who asks about sex, "sex is for married people in love". They hear oh to have sex is to have love. What happens if the person explaining this to them is not a believer in waiting until marriage and they say "it is for someone in a committed relationship much older than you are now". Great, they are even more confused. What happens when that 12 year old finds another person who is interested in them in a loving sort of way and they start talking, going out together to after school activities, parties, holding hands, kissing.

Yes, kissing. In my middle school it was a regular after lunch activity to be involved in a kissing circle. What is a kissing circle you might say? Oh, just a bunch of friends laughing and talking in a circle to block two people in the middle making out. When the group decided it went too far they would call for the next two people to start making out. MIDDLE SCHOOL 12, 13, 14, 15 year old kids. I saw a lot of people encourage shy couples to do more than just kiss. Several girls had their nipples sucked on for the first time in a kissing circle. I was one of them and it wasn't even a guy I barely knew. I didn't really even know him at all. It's like an adult version of spin the bottle with no bottle. This was back in like 1999-2003, I can't even fathom what kids are experiencing out there in 2012 and we are nearing 2013. Parents seriously need to keep open communication and instead of telling a kid how it is, listen to what the kid thinks. I'm not entirely sure I was ever asked what my thoughts on all this were at the time. I vividly remember being told I am too young to know what love is or how to express it.

I'm a firm believer that  a 12 year old Christian girl would be able to explain what true love is in Jesus. Also, pretty sure my 4 year old niece knows what Jesus' love is. How can society and parents be telling these young women they can't be feeling something they feel. Long lasting and marital love is definitely different than a 12 year old's preteen obsession but there is a lot more innocence to love that we lose as we age and I believe these young kids feel something raw and powerful that adults try to stifle and remove. Instead of telling kids no so much how about parents or mentors, friends, teachers help a 12 year old learn to express what they feel in a healthy safer way. Get creative people because these kids have to grow up to have healthy relationships eventually and as soon as they come to you expressing the signs that they need help expressing love let's not say "oh you don't know what love is you are too young".

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