Friday, July 6, 2012

Things to remember when I'm older

This seems like a weird place to be at. A twenty something living in my own house, saving for retirement, being fiscally responsible, paying bills, doing grocery shopping...sigh* I looked back over the past year and I've realized that there has been many accomplishments that are laughable. I'd like to share some of them with the world.

My skills I've developed include:
- Knowing when you can no longer eat food that was left out on the stove
     - the next morning is sometimes okay unless involving dairy items.
- Drowning flowers in pots
- Covering up hang over hair with baby powder and hair spray before going to church
- Oral sex giving and receiving
- How to wash darks, lights, and colors in the same load
- How to use dish soap as it was intended and some not so conventional methods
- Folding dress pants for interviews so that it looks like I ironed a crease into them
- Top roman noodles in gourmet dishes
- How to vomit on purpose
- Crafting paper goods into decorations
- Sewing holes
- Pining original ideas to
- Vacuuming pets

I've also learned some lessons:
- Don't drive with the parking brake on
- Dawn dish soap does not substitute for dish washing soap
- Cat litter needs to be changed more than once week
- Having twitter followers does not make you feel popular in real life
- Telling people about how popular are on the internet is not socially advisable
- Parents can not text back for hours or days but if you miss a single text from them the police start a search party.
- Wearing utility gloves makes you brave and invincible to poo and spiders

Helpful advice:
Don't go to bed angry with your boyfriend / husband
Remember to feed the cat
Remember to feed the fish
Rinse vegetables before putting them away

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