Tuesday, June 5, 2012

A Harem and the Star

This is an example of how vivid I dream things. This particular dream scene came to me last night and is not particularly nightmarish to me but has some elements that really did effect me as being real. I did wake up feeling that this was someone I have once been before or currently am. I DO NOT believe in reincarnation of the soul or having a past life. Most of my dreams have been much too gruesome and intense for me to write down. Due to my own imagination abilities I do find that I have to limit the amount of theatrics in my life (movies, music, horror, the news, etc) or I'd be completely over whelmed and never sleep. NOTE: I write immediately after waking up and only edit things for grammar and to make sense. The details I see in dreams are exactly as written. I'm always interested in knowing what my dreams mean.

PART I of a Harem Dream

I was a Beautiful princess married to a prince in a foreign land.
My skin had a deep caramel tan. I wore charms and bells on my ankles and feet along with fine jewelry of rare gems and stones around my neck. My hair was long and nearly touched my lower back.
During my marriage to the prince we had difficulty becoming pregnant. We tried for years but finally the prince was about to become king and needed a son to become his heir as his father, the present king, was aging and would surely die in a few years.
He sent me with the castle mystic to a place far away in a forested part of the land. There was a hut with several older mystics still practicing magic. They stripped me of all my clothing and tied me down with stakes and rope. They poured oils over my hair and body and chanted around me. One of them was whispering to a handful of what looked like rocks but the more she spoke to them the shinier and more beautiful they grew inside. The rocks became crystal like and glowed from within. A metal gleam bounced around the site as a mystic sharpened her blade by a roaring fire. I was becoming sleepier than ever and had difficulty remembering where I was and who these people were. Burning searing pain seized my lower stomach. I cried and writhed. The blade tore into my stomach again. I could see the crystals now they were bright stars from heaven. They placed seven inside my pubic bone and stitched me up with a purple cloth and clothing string.
I awoke in the palace bedroom with the prince waiting impatiently around the bed. Finally, I had awoken from a two year coma. The king was now barely able to maintain order in the kingdom and the Prince was becoming stressed to no end. He asked how I was feeling. I responded with tears in my eyes and questions on my heart, “I’m alive?” “Yes, but how do you feel?” It turned out that the Prince had been making love to my body in a coma in hopes to place a child in my womb. To his disappointment and soon my end I was not with child.
The street corner the prince threw me to was deserted in the night. Only torch lamps and palace guards were scattered among closed merchant carts. The prince apologized and cried. He gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me it was the best for the kingdom that he find a fertile woman to bare the legacy.

 I was distraught for months trying to scrape out the crystals that protruded around my vagina. No other man would have me. The universe would not bring me peace and I stayed up all night contemplating my own death alone and never having a child.

In a desperate one last attempt I gathered fine linen and stitched myself a most beautiful garment of gold and purple. I washed my hair with jasmine oil and mint. My skin was clear and fresh and I felt alive. The hut I was living in had an older woman who took me in. There was dust on the floor and it had opened windows to the elements. The building was made of tan stone carved out of one rock. It was small but the wind drifted through the window and around my hips and hair.

Under nightfall, my steps would not be detected easily.  In my heart I knew this was the riskiest operation I would ever face. I could feel adrenalin coursing through my body. I remembered the way to the back entrance. Once there, I slipped on my ankle bells and jewelry. I felt like a princess again. I crept slowly up the stone stairway silently. My breath was in my ears and my heart pounded so loud I feared I would be caught and beheaded. I did not belong here.

The prince was in his study, awake. I approached the opening and whispered, "my love". He stood up quickly and ran to grab me. I felt alive again in his presence and embraced his shirtless body. The room was warm and smelled of sandal wood. There were candles lit among pillows and soft sheets. I pleaded with the Prince to allow me one last chance to be with him. I felt love in my heart again when he allowed it. “Quick make sure the castle is secure” he called to his man servant. “Yes my Lord”. “Oh and send in a palace nurse” he added quietly. When she arrived her arms were full of blankets and a basin of fresh oils. She romantically removed my home stitched linens and oiled my skin. I was then guided over to the prepared place to lay waiting for the prince. I missed him so in my coma and didn’t have a chance to be with him awake. My stomach glowed. As it twinkled I felt a surge of butterflies fill my face and heart. He approached me in a sarong.

He made love to me not for business. It felt real, as though he did feel love  for me. I clung to his arms and smiled. From below his body pressing in on me, bright white light poured out of me and spread throughout the room. I felt as though I had spun into the heavens and touched the inside warmth of a star.

“Check her” the Prince panted an order to the nurse. “Yes Lord she is ready” she replied. I became confused in my ecstasy. The nurse was coming towards me with water and towels. On top of the towels were long strings and needle sharp items made from bone. The Prince came behind me and held my arms and shoulders down while his man servant was instructed to hold my legs. Fiery pain ran through my nerves as the nurse punched holes into my lips and tied me shut. The Prince kissed me on the mouth hard. The light from within me slowly left the room and day was arriving.

“What will I do?” I pleaded. “You will know what to do. Return to me when you have grown”. He then grabbed my wrist, “wait, you’ll need an offering to the mystic at the door”. The time had passed us and it was nearly dawn. Town was bustling and sounds of people arriving in the streets echoed up the stone structure around us. “Here take this”, the prince handed me a seashell dish filled with bird food and nuts. As I left alone through the corridor and down the steps I approached the old woman. I recognized her from my fertility ritual. She was now shrunken and wrinkled with time. I handed her the dish with bird food and she snatched my wrist hard. Birds flocked in around us chirping and squawking at the dish in the dust. “You are in danger now my dear, run to protect your baby, do not bring him back here, do not lose your way”. She handed me a prism dagger from a pouch on her side. It felt cold and hard in my hand the edges were serrated to a point.

My body tortured me from within with birth pains. The old woman I had been staying with was gathering blankets and clothing to throw in a trunk. As she gathered she chanted slowly in whispers. I could not tell what she was saying exactly. The stones inside of me felt ready to burst and break open my stomach. I fell to the floor gasping and grinding my teeth in agony. We rushed out the entrance. The old lady whistled and another mystic came through the adjacent alleyway with a black horse. Together they hoisted my nine month old belly and I up. “Where had this time gone?” I thought for a moment. Then, the mystics whispered to the horse and slapped it hard on the rump. The constant motion of his body against mine made me want to die right there. He panted hard and smelled of stable hay. The muscles on his back pressed into my labor pain. Tears poured out of my face.
In the forest, the oldest of the mystics alerted the others of my arrival. I collapsed off the horse to the grassy ground immediately. Rolling over on my back I let out a wail. This baby was coming. I could feel the head pressing deep down and fast. My hands uncontrollably grabbed clumps of grass out of the ground in handfuls.  I opened my eyes briefly in a haze throwing my head back in a growl. There were mystics from all over the land in a circle whispering around me. The eldest of them was at my knees with her head buried in to see and coax the baby out. My home stitched dress was raggedy and blood stained from the horse ride in. My breasts were swollen and ached. I had dirt across my arms. My mind was foggy.

Silence fell over the forest. The heavens opened up and light surged down from the stars. It lit up the entire earth. I lay there crying and howling in pain. New wailing entered the world and the eldest mystic held him up in her hands. The baby was covered in shimmer and blood. “A star has been born!” Hollered the eldest mystic and the forest chanting grew loud in excitement. She nestled his tiny body up to mine and wrapped him to me. I cried and glanced down at his face. He was the most beautiful child I had ever laid eyes on. I loved him immediately.

I knew this moment would come when I would hear army trumpets and the sound of men romping through the forest. Word had spread through the land and the Prince was looking to seize the next heir to the throne. Terror. My body ached in worry. I held my baby star close to my chest and prayed over him to the heavens. “Watch over my little star wherever you go and wherever you are, I will find you and I will love you as long as I am away from you I will always seek to find you”.
They tore through the huts with fire torches and arrows. Mystics hurried and screamed all around the forest ground. Slashes came through the thatched roofs and tore open the homes. The eldest mystic packed me up a satchel and supplies. She strapped the baby to my body and sent me off on the black horse. She whispered to the horse and we took off with a sprint down the forest hills and to the nearest towns over.

It was an ambush as soon as I had arrived. I crouched down and screamed “No one takes my baby!” I slashed out at the guards with the prism dagger. It tore open their flesh and blood poured from their wounds onto the ground. I fought with everything I had. I prayed God would give me strength to save my child. The horse neighed and bucked at the soldiers pressing in on me. I was over come and the baby was ripped from my body. The heavens above let out a thunderous crack and it began to pour down rain.

I was left in the mud alone crying and screaming at the top of my lungs “Bring my baby back!”. I punched at the mud and writhed in it. A young lady approached me. She grabbed a hold of my clothing and pulled me into the local bar. A clamoring of glasses and burly men halted as I was dragged crying and wailing to the cellar.

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